a promise of strength.

I promised I’d stay strong. 

I took stability for granted. I didn’t realize just how much I craved it until now. I didn’t realize how much things would shift and sway and pull me apart inside.

I feel caught in the middle–more like trapped–and claustrophobic, yet drowning in a sea of space and time and ticking clocks and changing numbers.

I hear cries for help and heavy tears, smacking the ground with pounds of sorrow in every drop.

I see a cloud of death swarming around an innocent spirit, and I feel God slowly pulling her home. And I’m here to watch it all unfold.

But then I find myself in silence. I look within myself, and I find love. I find hope. I find God. And so, I find strength.

I have my rock, I have my foundation, and now, I need my peace.

I need my peace to feel secure within this life of mine.

I need my peace to feel my faith at its fullest.

Most of all, I need my peace to keep my strength, for you, and you, and because of You.

I see the peace. I feel it. I’m holding it in my heart, and I’ll try my hardest to never let it go.

I can break down in tears and still be strong. I can yell at how unfair life feels at times, and through that, I will still be strong. I can ask God questions and even doubt His plan at times, and I will still be strong.

When you know God’s strength exists, you’ve found it, because you’ve found Him… and that’s all you need.

I have all I need for strength.

I will stay strong for you.

I promised I would. And so I will.

xoxo,

Siena

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