pieces of peace

Today was interesting. Surprisingly.

You see, I shouldn’t be surprised, and neither should you. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I entered my Monday with a mindset of normality. I woke up this morning in a slightly anxious state, feeling unprepared to take on the week’s challenges and tasks.

This week will be long, and it might not be all that enjoyable. Wow. I can’t believe I just admitted that I was actually thinking that.

Thankfully, something caught me in my boring mindset and rekindled my more intriguing perspective.

I recall feeling the emotionless expression I had on my face around 7:45 am. It was blank, exhausted, and my eyes were tired and heavy (they still feel that way, but I’m too interested in this day to stop writing about it). As I made my way to about 10 am, I had my mid-morning snack and became a bit more chipper. That’s when the peace began (not the snack — but what came right before I ate the snack).

I left my granola bar outside of the chapel and entered. There was no one around me, and I remembered how much I missed being in the solace of an empty holy space, designated for prayer and meditation. I approached the altar, bowed, and did something a bit out of the ordinary. Instead of sitting in one of the chapel pews, I sat with my legs crossed right in front of the altar. I breathed. I thought. I existed in the midst of the divine. I felt my soul pushing my anxiety out of me, and leaving it on the altar in front of me (literally). Although I was probably only in the chapel for about two or three minutes, God calmed my heart and reminded me that even through tired eyes, life is beyond beautiful.

Then a good friend of mine was having an emotional day, and I could relate because of my mind-boggled state of sleep-cycle-switching. As I sat in one of my favorite chairs, we allowed our emotions to permeate the space through laughter and tears and words and happiness and community. The moment was a simple gift.

I headed to the stable this afternoon, despite not wanting to go. Honestly, today I felt like doing my usual barn care routine was a chore, and I wasn’t feeling as motivated. I disregarded this feeling and decided to go anyway. I’ve been having doubts lately about my friendship with my horse (a complicated scenario – she’s been having some physical issues and we’ve been trying to figure out how we can proceed). Call me crazy, but I did something different tonight. Instead of just brushing my horse and saying good night, I looked my horse in the eye and whispered do you love me? to which she took a step back, looked at me, and licked my hand. Of course she does.

The peace was already prevalent through that moment, and then my good friend walked in and consoled me because of all of the issues I’ve been having with my horse. She told me exactly what I needed to hear, and reminded me that meaningful relationships (including human/animal friendships) often require sacrifices and changing expectations. Then, she gave me some cheesecake triangles. The timing was glorious.

Lastly, I had an incredible FaceTime call with my lovely best friend. If you think a FaceTime call cannot be incredible, I can seriously say that you are wrong (and I don’t directly say that phrase often). There is something about communicating with the people that I love that offers a peace that is unlike any other. There is something so magnificent in each moment… I can’t express my gratitude.

So, I wrote this for all of you who think that your day will be boring (or maybe you think your day was boring). I guarantee you that if you change your idea of what is intriguing and beautiful, and open your eyes to the fact that life is never boring, you’ll love each day even more. Someone once told me that all of our days add up to our life, which is so obvious but something I often forget.

Remember to see the fascinating. See it as if you were five again.

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